Emilie's Blog

In A Constant State Of Shine

What was I thinking? Winter, snow, boats, come back! Summer in the 80s without A/C has hit and I find myself in a constant state of shine. I now enjoy going to work, for the relief. And while at home I become a hermit with the blinds closed and all fans aimed at me. At night I sleep on the sheets with fans on and no cuddling, don't even touch me honey until the temperature drops! I guess if I'm going to get through this I'm going to have to embrace the sweat, cool showers and loud fans. Here's to a few hot months before the snow returns.

Burning Man Is Real.

Who knew?...After watching a favourite of mine, Malcolm in the Middle, and then months later going to a photographers site and browsing his portfolio, I came to the realization that Burning Man is a real event. Weird. There are some eccentric people out there who must do some serious drugs! Now that is one party Id rather not be a part of. But if you must go out to the middle of nowhere to stick it to the man...go for it.

Daily

5/27

I try to stop by my site every so often (daily) and see how the hits are coming along. I find myself to be yawning with atleast one or more individuals at all hours of the day. I love this, and I'm counting the hits until I reach the next 100,000th hit to bring me to a whooping 600,000 hits. Hope to see you there, yawning!

How Much Is Too Much?

3/25

If you'll see the newest picture addition to the dontyawngame, you'll see that I am completely standing over a no parking sign. I would say this sign in normal weather stands a good 8-9 feet high, for the picture it's just peeking out of the snow a foot or two. So to answer my own question, I'd say we've reached the point of TOO MUCH SNOW, I mean we're about to break our record..I guess we might as well go all the way now! (So much for global warming)

Go Habs Go

2/22

4 tickets in the nosebleed: 300$
Dinner consisting of hot dogs and nachos: 56$
Coming back 5-0 in a shootout: PRICELESS!

Our first Canadiens game in the Bell Centre was more than we could have asked for. Down 5-0 in the beginning of the second was depressing as we were planning our early exit to beat the crowd. We were quickly pulled back in as we scored 3 goals in the second and were able to tie it up by the end of the third. Overtime came and went and we actually got to see a shootout. The crowd was going absolutely crazy, all the way to the metro! What a night...go habs!

There She Is...miss America

1/28

Oh, there's just nothing quite like sitting back with the family, popcorn and chocolate in hand, to watch Miss America. I have fond memories of picking the favourites (and always watching them lose), saying why so-and-so is not cut out to be Miss America (usually related to her nose or some other facial feature), and going to bed with a smile on my face because of another wasted evening infront of the tv! But this year I was still upset with the show the following day. Who let these girls plan the pageant? Didn't the knowledge that NBC wasn't airing it this year give them a hint that it would bomb? Wasn't the idea of the crown being given to the winner as she stood up there with 5 other girls sound like a bad idea? And why do we still let every girl sing as her talent? The only constant this year was that one girl's talent was baton twirling, and even that almost didn't happen! I guess I'm just hoping that next year things will not be so different, and we'll just go back to the way things used to be. PS - Congratulations Miss Michigan, you look just like last year's winner.

Dontyawngame Featuring Nadal

8/14

I've been seen yawning lots of places. It started in Oklahoma City and has now stretched to Montreal, Ottawa, puttputt, out on the town, etc. But my latest picture was taken at the Roger's Cup with no other than Nadal and Hewitt in the background. It was cool to see some big names play (even if it was doubles, and even though in the end of it all Nadal and Federer were taken out). Thanks for the tennis...Federer is Betterer.

What's Up With...

7/26

People getting married and gaining 10 20 30 lbs?
And what's with lb being the abbreviation of pound??

Looking For God In Harry Potter

7/19

Why is someone looking for God in Harry Potter??! This is the title of a real book. I don't get it, is this whole fantasy writing style something new all of a sudden? Or is it just because it's aimed towards kids (even though I see adults everywhere (my own living room) reading them)? Doesn't every child bedtime story contain some aspect of fantasy? Don't we encourage kids to 'use their imagination'? Now I can't have an opinion on these Harry Potter books because I'm not into that, but common, can't you just let JKRowling be the richest woman and not try to make a buck off her 'imagination'?

Bullied As An Adult, By An Adult

Have you ever been bullied? For 30 cents? In French? Well, as of today, I can answer yes to all of the above.

A List Of Past Bosses

-The first one to hire me, in a long slew of very different characters: a bald, loud, white good-ole boy.
-Replaced by: a bald, quiet, serious black man.
-Then: a serious, long haired, single mom who didn't go by her first name.
-a sometimes funny, short-haired lesbian.
-a short, lovable, little Mexican man.
-a curly haired, sometimes drive me crazy, little white guy.
-a big, round, annoying white guy.
-a good-ole lady from the country.
-a very stylish, Asian working mom.
-To the present: a Russian entrepreneur.
OK, who's left?!

Dear Fans, Those That Worship Me, And Family Members

4/25

I apologize that the posts have been few and far between lately. Just stick with me and I'm sure I'll start finding new, interesting things to start complaining about again! Have a lovely day.

Bullet Proof Vests The New Fad?

4/17

So we've all seen the gunman. Not the dumb, addicted to video games, black-wearing, kid anymore. Not even white anymore. Now it's any time, any where. I am praying for everyone involved, even the gunman and his family...everyone affected by this situation needs God. Everyone needs God actually. I'm not sure how people without faith react to news like this, do they live in a world of fear? This is now just one more thing to freak people out. I mean, I'm just waiting for bullet proof vests to become the new fad!

What's Up With...

3/14

Adults wearing Disney clothing? (Goofy should not be in your wardrobe)

Anti-aging? (you can't help it, so get over it)

My brain? (it has stopped working and now this post is already over).... more later.

Things I've Learned Since Being Back In Montreal

11/16

#1 All dairy products are expensive
#2 Milk still comes in a bag
#3 Public Transportation is great (as long as you don't have to wait for the bus!)
#4 It's nice to know somebody who owns a car
#5 My French is awful
#6 'Eh' is still being used
#7 Tax is double
#8 Hidden charges for everything
#9 Recycling is mandatory
#10 I LOVE IT!

Lady In The Water Needs To Be Drowned.

Thankfully we got to see this movie for free because it was awful. No twist in this one folks, unless the half grass-half monkey protectors is considered one. Or maybe the big twist here is that there is no twist....hmmm, interesting M.Night...whats that M. stand for anyways? monkey??

The Blog I Read?...

7/21

Waiterrant.net. This is one funny guy and the only blog I read on a daily basis. Funny thing is that I accidentally downloaded his RSS feed onto myYahoo! one day and then noticed it the next...I started reading and can say that as of today I have read every single post written by him (boy am I bored at work!). I'm not sure if most of it is because I can relate to some of the stories (having been a waiter myself at one time), but I think we can all learn from some of his experiences. Let me know what you think. enjoy.

Global Warming?nah.

7/17

My only problem with global warming is that they say that it's making the weather and temperatures more extreme over the years, and all I don't understand is that we still can't break any of the old records set back in the 30s and 40s.

I Quit.

6/15

OK, so I haven't been writing this blog for very long, but you've all now been through two quittings with me! Both times I have been so nervous...Why is that?I'm quitting, they can't do anything about that, I'm happy, I'm outta here...why do I have to shake while doing these things? Anyways, and the big news here is the reason: I'm moving to Montreal (back to the mother land)! Finally out of Oklahoma (where the wind blows along with many other things), I never thought this day would come. I will still be here for another two months, but at least the days are numbered (that always seems to help somehow). So we've been working on our french and packing a box or two a week out of excitement. See you in Canada.

Not Auntie Em

Well one thing I am glad about is that my family was never big on The Wizard Of Oz, otherwise, now that I am a proud Aunt I would be refered to as 'Auntie Em.' I don't like that, I never really did when others would call me that with their kids around. Anyways, the real point here is that I am an official Aunt! I haven't even met him yet, but I already find myself bragging about how cute he is and showing his pictures to co-workers and friends. I'm already enjoying myself and can't wait for the next month to go by so that I can fly down and see him all the way in Miami. "Hold on Christian, your only aunt is coming."

Half A Million And Counting...

5/25

I, Emilie, am the proud owner of the don't yawn game and have recently reached 500.000 hits. I was actually checking out my site the day it happened and was the 499.999th hit and quickly emailed my husband and he was lucky number 500.000. Did he win anything? No. We keep seeing it appear in different places and are just happy that people are enjoying it and finding the humor in it. So thanks everyone and come back when you're ready for a game of don't yawn.

This Is A Holdup!

5/25

Nobody move...and it's a holdup and no one is moving because there is someone writing a check at the front of the line! Now I've touched on this topic before, but there is now new information. I have just learned that at some places after you write the check and they scan it, they simply just hand it right back to you!! WHAT? Then why do I continually see people writing checks?, what is the point anymore? Do these people like paper over plastic that much? All I have to say to these people is: STOP IT. (Sorry, slow day in the office and I have nothing to write about, I'll think of something else later.)

Weathermen?

4/17

Now isn't the technology used by meteorologists nowadays advanced enough that they could all actually report the same weather?? And if that were so, couldn't we just have one weatherman to tell us how hot it's going to be today? Can you interpret the weather however you want? If so, I've found my new calling.

1 Whole Year!

4/14

My husband and I recently celebrated our first anniversary together as a married couple! And let me tell you, it was easy, piece of cake....who are these people who warned me of the dangers of the first year? They said it would be hard and just awful now living with this other person. I have a question for the people who make these warnings, why does it sound like you got in a relationship where you just didn't know your spouse before marrying them? I mean, there will be surprises, but if you're both honest while dating, then what is going to throw you for such a loop that you will later hate this person you said "I do forever" to? Ohwell, I guess not everyone is as laid back as my Hal (you wish you were so lucky). Thanks for a great year! And good luck on everyones relationships out there in the cruel world.

Filling Up

4/11

I guess after being so thrown off by the funny looking, accordion-type thing found on the gas pumps in California, my husband (whom shall remain nameless!) skipped steps 5&6 in filling up and arrived at Enterprise Rent A Car with the nozzle hanging out of the open gas door!Oops. Thankfully there was no extra charge.

Sitcom Actors

3/29

More commercials during the show=Less work for the actors=They demand more money
Can that be right?

Wheel-of-fortune

3/23

OK, let me first just clear up a few thoughts you might have had by now, I'm not 75 years old. OK, now on to my thoughts about the contestants on the show. LADIES, please don't wear low cut shirts when you�re going to appear on the show, you are repeatedly bending over The Wheel, save yourself the embarrassment please. And stop buying vowels, you people kill me. A few other feelings I have about the show...Pat is enjoyable, I mean he makes fun of these people to their face on national television, and Vanna, what kind of name is that and how old are you? You make so much money, and for what? I'm so jealous.

Old Navy=over Priced Thrift Store

3/17

So on Monday my husband and I had some shopping to do at Old Navy, thanks to it being his birthday and getting a gift card(no hurt feelings Whit)! The idea of shopping there seemed like we'd find many things for him...that was not the case. The place was a mess and things apparently never seem to ring up for what they're priced at, these are two important things to me in my shopping experience. I like order and I like to know ballpark what I'm going to pay at the register. But ohwell, I don't think my new hatred for Old Navy will hurt sales at all, and maybe they've found a market of people who just like rummaging through piles for new clothes!

Going #2 At Work...

is soo stressful.

Oscars

Are we all happy now that Brokeback Mountain (or as a co-worker of mine truly thinks it's called 'Humpback Mountain' (gross)) didn't sweep or at least not get best picture? Yes, we should be. Funny thing, I heard Jake Gilllynehall* say when being interviewed prior the ceremony was that when making out with Heath he had to just think about it like kissing a woman, same thing....ya right, that's not going to help you sleep at night, and what about that whisker rash you got on your face boy? How you going to explain that one to the girlfriend? I guess the paycheck will do the explaining, right Jake? And as for the Oscars, lets not have Johnny host again. OK, some funny jokes were made here and there about 3-6 Gang and the man wearing jeans, but other then that....YAWN!

Blingo Frenzy!

OK, so if you haven't heard, there is a site (blingo.com) which is basically google, but you can win stuff just for searching at the right time...and lately the right time is happening more and more frequently. Anyways, the point is, who doesn't like free stuff? Even insanely rich people like free stuff (that's going to be a guess, not something I've learned from experience). So sign up under me and we'll both win something! Thanks!

Hire Us.

2/14

It amazed me how long it took myself and my peers to get jobs after graduating from college. Almost a year for myself and 1.5 years for my husband (but who's counting?!). The reason given to why we aren't hired for these jobs we are completely capable of doing is that we have no experience. What is that? If you didn't like me, just say that, I'd rather have heard that then the lame 'experience' excuse. I just want to say..."Sooo, give me experience." Just because I haven't been in the business work force for the last 3 years doesn't mean I can't do the job. Anyways, that's just a little vent for all those people interviewing my husband and not hiring him. He would be an amazing asset to any company's website (he's a webdesigner, duh?). He can be seen anytime at halgatewood.com. I mean, he made this great site!! Thanks, tell your friends.

1 Belt Loop, 2 Belt Loop, 4 Belt Loop.

I just love it when I notice that someone missed one of their belt loops. It's sad that the first thought that crosses my mind is "what a moron." Why do I think that? So they can't dress themselves properly and they're full grown adults. Ohwell, we're all idiots at one time or another, and today belongs to the guy who fixes the computers in my office! Good luck with those loops Robby.

Seatbelt Extenders.

1/28

Why is that even an option?

Women Sports

1/27

Now I don't really watch sports very much, but enough to notice that there are never as many people in the audiance for a woman's basketball, softball (or any sport for that matter) game then a man's bball, etc. game. You know why? Cause it's not fun to watch women play sports. I don't know why, I just know that it's not near as exciting. Anyways, please don't hate me on this issue and please don't invite me to one of your games ladies.

Typoes

1/19

OK, I hope most people found the typo in the title, if not, nevermind. It kills me when I find such obvious mistakes in such important documents. The more I surf the net the more typos I find on sites that people have actually paid for and spent a lot of time and money going over. i.e. On a big company's site, where the times of operation were listed it said "Where here when you need us." Are you kidding, I learned that stuff in English class in 3rd grade, after French class, in Canada. And I thought it was the words there, their and they're that people got confused, I guess people are just more confused than I realized! Anyways, I know that I make mistakes too, but let's all just try a little harder to use the English we learned in elementary. (I reread this five times just to make sure I wrote everything correctly. We'll see how long it takes my mom to inform me of any mistakes!)

Wrong Number

1/16

Don't you hate it when people leave a message on your voice mail and it's the wrong number. I used to get so many of them that my recording went something like this..."Hi, this is emilie, NOT TERRY-STOP CALLING, leave me a message." And guess what? It actually worked, until I recently changed it to something normal once I thought it was safe and enough time had gone by. But guess what again?, it wasn't Terry this old man was calling for now, it was for a brand-new-customized-garage-door. Who are you people? Why don't you listen to the recording? And WHY do you keep calling back again and again?? OK, well I've cooled down now and I hope that man got his garage door. Good luck dialing.

Sideburns: "no"?

1/11

What is the deal with men who have no sideburns? I mean none, zero, the kind that are shaved up even with the top of his ears? I just want to know, what is up with that? I even asked this guy I know (my husband) how it was that he used to get his hair cut like that; he simply answered that when his barber would ask him how he wanted or if he wanted his sideburns he just answered; "no." Weird. I am glad to inform you that as of today he has a great looking hair cut (buzzed, but including sideburns). So basically the message I want to get accross here is that men should never have no s-burns. Thanks, now get them sides'a'growin.

Low Prices?

Who cares if WalMart has low prices, they have to because shopping there is awful. It doesn't seem to matter where in North America (I say from experience, but I'm sure it could be anywhere in the world) the WalMart is, the white trash of america all seem to find themselves there. If you don't get run over in the parking lot or trampled while trying to shop, then you're just going to want to kill yourself in the end while you're waiting in line behind people who still use checks, or aren't sure how to swipe their credit cards, or come to the '20 items or less' line with a basket full of crap. No Mas, to Target I go and love...But if you just have to go to WalMart because you think Target is just waaay too expensive, fine, I don't care.

The Day After Christmas

12/27

Is it over? Yes. I ended up having 3 Christmas celebrations and by the day after Christmas I was taking down the tree and any other decoration we had around. For me it's over, it was fun while it lasted, but now I'm ready for New Years and then after that...back to reality. Now, may I ramble for just a moment? What is the deal with Christmas lights? are they just getting uglier and uglier through the years? or was I easily amazed as a child? You tell me.

Peepee Test

12/5

So my husband has to go for a physical, make sure everything's tiptop. So he makes it through the blood pressure test, the taking of the blood, undoubtedly flies through the tapping the knees bit ("because I have great reflexes" he later tells me)...but gets hung up on the urine test (aka piss, pee, peepee test). Takes it twice and is told both times he is dehydrated and has too much protein in it??. Strange thing is all this boy drinks is water, and lots of it...what are these people talking about?? So anyways, we leave, he downs a huge bottle of water, we come back for a third try. Again, same answer. So we decide to go to dinner and he again drinks a few glasses of water...we think he's finally got it...clear peepee. Fourth time was the charm! Thanks for all the trouble guys, you know we would have just told you if he had smoked crack the night before, but noooo, we had to do it the hard way. And no, he does no drugs.

Christmas Already??

11/16

Common, it was late October and I saw lights! Does it seem like Christmas is coming earlier and earlier every year, what is the deal? It's like forget thanksgiving, all we want anymore is Christmas. Is this because we get presents at xmas and get to go shopping and get to spend lots of money (and going into debt over of it is ok because it's CHRISTMAS?!) and the only thing Thanksgiving is about is having to see the extended family that you don't even remember the names of because you could care less(ohya, and about eating so much you can't breathe, but it's ok because it's the holidays)? I have no solution for this arising problem, just wanted to make an observation. And let me say that I know and understand and can appreciate the TRUE meaning of these holidays. (So after all my complaining, please disregard the xmas tree in my living room (since late October), it was a boring Saturday!) sorry.

Norway?

10/29

That's it, I'm moving to where all the fans are. After my dontyawngame site got big we started looking to see where most of the traffic was coming from and it shared with us that Norway, Spain and Sweden were where most of the hits were coming from. That would explain some of the strange emails that I thought were just from some of my illiterate fans. Not sure why I'm big out there, but THANKS! GRACIAS! JAG TACKAR! and TUSEN TAKK! Take care, I'll be there soon.

Not Slinging Tacos Anymore!

10/27

So, I finally got a new job, rather a real job. I used to wait tables, "sling tacos" as my dad likes to call it, not saying that it's not a money-making job, but come on, I had had enough with the 'sir' and 'maam' and let me smile for you to let you know how happy I am to be taking care of all you unhappy, disrespectful, talk down to me cause you think I'm not as important as you, 'bring me a water with my Coke', a buck fifty a head if I smile enough for your cheap self, PEOPLE. So now I do a lot of filing!, But I'm happy with it, and I'll move up from there. And at this job I'm making the same every hour whether I smile while I file or not. So thanks for all the support, I'm moving on up in this world folks!

First Sighting!

10/13

Today took me by surprise...I was walking into my friendly video rental store, Randy's MMs, and I had my first fan say hello (ok, so fan might be too strong of a word, but whatever). He says 'Hi' (and then this is where it gets good); 'I went to your website...I didn't yawn.' So I guess the only thing I could say back to that was what I said...'Ohh, I'll get you next time.' And that was it, and how I loved it. So if you ever see me around, say hello, I'll be nice!